


A Lesson in Tactics

by Polska_1999



Series: Sprint Towards Blackout (Happy Steve Bingo 2018) [8]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes is a little shit, Crack, Fluff, Gen, James Rhodes is a little shit, M/M, SHIELD has stupid ideas, Sam Wilson is So Done, Steve Rogers Is So Done, Teacher Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-15 16:56:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16067375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polska_1999/pseuds/Polska_1999
Summary: SHIELD has the brilliant idea of having the original members of the Avengers team teach skills to the newer members in a more traditional classroom setting. What could go wrong?





	A Lesson in Tactics

**Author's Note:**

> For the _Teachers or Substitutes_ square on my **Happy Steve Bingo** card.

Due to the influx of new members to the Avengers, SHIELD decided to mandate that the original six Avengers must lead classes for the new members to help them learn different skills in different areas. 

Naturally, the Avengers immediately saw this idea as a disaster, but did they have much choice? No. So they tried to make the best of it. 

First thing Stark did was declare that he would teach the tech classes in his lab, which ended up turning into “have JARVIS help you make shit while I work on my suits.” Bruce taught some science stuff about chemistry or biology or something, and… well… that was arguably the only class anyone ever actually did anything in, though that was largely due to a first-day-of-class incident involving someone managing to make Bruce hulk out. Clint, of course, took up teaching ranged combat in the range, and that was probably the only class people willingly listened to because it meant target practice sessions. Nat taught some spy stuff, ranging from sneaking to hacking systems to poisoning people to martial arts. Thor… he was never here often enough to host classes regularly, but his classes involved Asgardian stuff and magic and once included even a visit to Asgard itself. And Steve? Well, he didn’t really know what to teach, so he chose to teach battle tactics. 

From the moment he saw the unholy trifecta of New Avenger trouble — Bucky, Sam, and Scott — signed up for the class, he knew that he was in for one hell of a ride. 

Or… maybe he was wrong. So far, the first day of “class” was going well.  _ Too well _ , as far as Steve was concerned. But… he accepted it and rolled with it, hoping he can get through the shit SHIELD wanted him to talk about before trouble broke out. Colonel James Rhodes sat in the front; Sam and Scott sat in the back, and Bucky sat in the farthest corner possible. All of them were in full gear, either preparing for a mission or having just returned from one. 

Steve was more wary of the pair sitting together than the others, but they were calm. Mostly. For now.

Then Steve saw, from the corner of his eye, as Sam passed a note to Scott. Uh-oh.

But… there was no other incident. Maybe they were taking pity on Steve? Maybe they wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. Steve was more than fine with that. And if he skipped over some minor details in the SHIELD guide… well, no one would know, and he highly doubted anyone cared. 

Then it happened. 

Steve heard the sound of a clearing throat before Sam spoke. “Will any of this be on the exam?” There was a muffled laugh from someone else that accompanied Sam’s question.

Steve took a deep, even, calming breath. “Sam, there is no exam.”

“That’s the exact type of shit someone who plans on giving an exam would say,” Sam retorted. 

Since that wasn’t a question, Steve ignored it and went back to the shit SHIELD wanted him to teach. 

“Mister Rogers? I’d hate to interrupt, but do you think you could hurry this up? I have a hot date in an hour, I’m on a tight schedule.” That was Scott, and from the muffled laughs behind him, Steve knew it was an attempt to press his buttons to make him snap and give up. 

“With who, your pillow?” That was Sam.

Steve stepped in and told them both to stop before this spiralled out of control. (Although, he couldn’t deny that their conversation would have been far more interesting than the SHIELD-provided material.)

Sam and Scott went silent for a bit… but that did not make things easier for Steve. Instead, now he constantly heard judging “hmm”s and “ummm”s from various people in the room.

_ Screw SHIELD’s guidelines.  _ He tossed the SHIELD packet into the trashcan… and then looked up just in time to see Scott and Sam each pass a $10 to Rhodes. He resisted the urge to sigh and instead started giving some of his own advice for tactics and such. He went over some strategies, too, when… 

“Captain Rogers, would this be considered a strategic exit?” Colonel Rhodes asked, much to Steve’s confusion. Then, a moment later, the War Machine armor kicked down the door to the room, walked over to Rhodey to let him suit up, and then left before Steve could even process the situation, much less react. 

When Steve regained his senses, he saw that Scott was gone, too. He must have shrunk down and taken a flying ant out. 

“So Rogers, gonna teach us some proper strategy from the 40s, or do I gotta ask the napping Terminator?” Sam asked.

Sure enough, Bucky appeared to be asleep, leaning against the corner. 

Steve just sat on the edge of Rhodey’s vacated desk and facepalmed, completely worn out and done. “Fine. You won. You all won.” And if he said so with relief… well… he couldn’t really deny it. 

He didn’t hear footsteps approach, but next thing he knew, he was being given a hug by mismatched arms, one hot and one cold. 

“Who do you think would blow a gasket first if they found out that ‘tactics for battle’ class turned into a one-on-one demonstration for ‘tactics for defiling a national icon’? Stark or Fury?”

Steve heard the window shatter as Sam made a quick escape from the room at Bucky’s words. Steve couldn’t take it and laughed slightly. Oh, if SHIELD found out how much of a disaster this ended up being…

“I hate you. I hate all of you,” Steve said, with affection.

“No, you love us. Especially me,” Bucky said with conviction.

Steve raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been hanging out too much with Stark. His ego is rubbing off on you.”

“Nah, though his confidence is. Think Fury will like the show if he tries to rewatch the security tapes and sees—”

“Bucky, we are not fucking here. Lord knows Tony would release it online if we did.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends! I am participating in the **Happy Steve Bingo** event and will be attempting to go for a blackout bingo; thus, I plan on filling all 25 squares of my card — that means, get ready for as many as 25 fics total featuring our favorite (if a bit self-sacrificial) supersoldier!
> 
> Most of my works, including this one, are beta-read by the one and only amazingly wonderful [SpaceKeet!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceKeet/pseuds/SpaceKeet) If you get the chance, go out and give her some love!
> 
> As always, thank you all so much for reading! If you liked it, feel free to drop a kudos or comment if you have something you want to say. Wanna contact me? You can find me on [Tumblr](https://polska-1999.tumblr.com/) or ask me for my Discord in the comments.


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